onethirtynine

with my indifference and apathy

i have built a fence around me

and i wrap my pain in cellophane

before you all my life lays plain

all hiding and pretending is in vain

i can't put a wall before your eyes

can't wear a mask, cannot disguise

myself, my situation, how i look...

for you read me like an open book

got me tangling on a silver hook

when i feel far - you are near

even if i rise up into the atmosphere

hiding at the far side of the sea of tears

high on the wings of dawn, but all alone

if i make my bed in the deep darkness

of my idolatry and very selfishness

you are there, all the time and everywhere

there is no way i can ever be or stay

out of your tender grasp, your reach

my brazen boundaries you've breached

you know my feelings and my every thought

the secrets of my heart you've caught

where can i go from your spirit?

where can i flee from your presence?

slow slow, stop stop

need to slow slow down a bit

need to sit and bite my lip

need to stop stop and listen

need to slow down to lay down

Love Me Still

When my heart is cold and hard

And my ears are deaf and closed

I am still the one You chose.

When I fill myself with things

That cannot fulfill until...

I am empty You will still

Sing over me - and joyfully.

When I put You on a shelf

You will still give all Yourself.

When I run away from You

You will run right after me.

When I turn away from You

You surround me till I see

Beauty in Your perfect will.

When I feel far you are near

I know it now I can hear

You whisper: I Love You Still.

in the medina

marrakesh murmurs muddy whispers from maroon walls, warped words wanting to be heard in the wind. a breath of air carries distant voices over red rooftops until they reach my ears, suggesting blurry images to match the blurry noises i perceive. i breath in the soft sounds. the noise so close i can almost feel it as it wanders through my senses, without permission penetrating my defenses. i soak in the atmosphere. i am here. and i am here to hear, to be near. now the words, the whispers, the voices and the sounds they all resound uniting into a shout so loud...i am overwhelmed. marrakesh what are you saying? your blissful bloom, your beauty betrayed by cruel confusion (all ilusion?) circlcing through my head, my heart. i wait. and as i stand there with my soul bare the sun sets and it begins to dawn on me, the mistery i see...marrakesh tells tales of life. so the keynote and the basic tint, the structure and the underlying symmetry, the meaning and the synthesis of all of this is that it is. and so am i. this is how it was meant to be, in ages past decreed: i am.

The Blood (Free)

Free of guilt and Free of shame

Let the red Blood wash away

All the lies and all the blame

Come My child, your burdens lay

At My wounded Feet, your pain

You are Mine and so's today

darkness has not right to claim

By My Blood and by My Name

You are Free in everyway.